"My Subcontinent Is Always in My Subconscious: Indian Heritage in America" by Alisha Andrews

One’s identity can be found through life and the experiences within it. In our WSC class my peers found their identity in different ways: going into the army at the age of 18, living in a negative town their entire childhood, being a certain religion that is misunderstood in America. The experience that helped me find my identity was being the first generation, American-born citizen and living through the struggles of my immigrant parents.

The process of immigration is difficult, but the process of an immigrant adjusting to America is never ending. Both my parents came to America at the age of 18 with their cousins from India, all without their own parents. All 15 of them lived in a 3 story rental house in Queens Village where everyone lived paycheck to paycheck. My parents had 3 jobs at one point so they could live a decent life. My mom took on a job as a cashier at JC Penney and Walmart and as a bank clerk. My dad took on a job as a limousine driver, bank clerk, and a cashier at a local department store. Even though these jobs seemed simple, it was tough for my parents. They had thick Indian accents and would get yelled at by customers to “learn English” and comments like “you should not be working here.” When my dad was a limo driver he had to learn all of New York City's streets and directions to get his clients to where they needed to be. He had no GPS back in his day and would get awful comments if he made one mistake, but little did the people know that he was just learning about America, let alone these locations! Both my parents always got the comment to “go back to your own country!”

These comments reminded me of Gloria Anzaldua’s remark, “We know what it is to live under the hammer blow of the dominant norte-americano culture” (Anzaldua, par 43). The white Americans around her felt as if they owned this country. They believed not knowing fluent English, not having an American accent, and not having white skin means that you do not belong in America. They viewed people with brown skin as inferior and stupid and that they weren’t “qualified” enough to live in this white man’s world. But my parents had tough skin. They were ready to endure these kinds of indifferences and not let it affect them. I give them so much credit for staying strong because they are humans, too, who have feelings, but were treated like subordinates. They worked 7 days a week to save up money for a car so they could have a vehicle. Before they had a car, they were walking to all their destinations and this was hard especially in the harsh, cold winters of New York. Both my parents and their cousins saved up $3000 to buy an old, used car. Even though it was a junk from a shady store in Queens, it was something they could use to drive places. They gave the car dealer all the money they saved up for months to get a car that stopped working the day after they bought it. Yes, they got played. They were just learning the hustle for money in America. But this experience helped them learn that not everyone is who they say they are. My parents struggled so much their first years in America. They went through these hardships and sacrificed everything they had and started a new life all over again just for my brother and I to live a better life than they had.

My brother, Albie, and I were the first generation to be born and raised in America. We were the first to go to school and to university in our families in America. Both of us were exposed to the American culture right away as we entered the school system. We grew up with English as our first language and Malayalam, which is a South Indian language common in Kerala, India, as our second language. My parents made sure that Albie and I became adjusted to both the American and Indian culture. But these two cultures clash at times. In India there is a hierarchy with gender. The male is the head of the family and is seen as superior and has all the freedom in the world. The female is seen as inferior and taught to be conservative and quiet. My parents immigrating to America and seeing a different viewpoint instead of sticking with India’s traditional ways helped build my identity. “Some women can escape social conformity and become conscious of the incredibly sexist, patriarchal society we live in. Others are trapped and are incapable of realizing their true identity because they are the product of someone else’s identity formation” (Solis, par 2). Since I was fortunate enough to grow up in America, I was given the opportunity to put my education first before anything else. I could get a job that did not include housework and I do not need to settle to be a housewife like in India, where it is common for 18-year-old girls to get married off. America holds opportunities to show that women are just as equal to men and can succeed in anything they do through careers and having empowering platforms. In India these opportunities are looked down upon, so many women put a hold on their life so their husbands, fathers, or brothers can live the life they want. I learned that I am more than what a man sees me as even if it is an object, reproducer, or inferior. I was born a woman and therefore need to hold strong to this identity, especially coming from an Indian, sexist community.

The South Asian community also has a persistent point of view when it comes to careers. If you had a daughter, she was supposed to be a nurse or a doctor. If you had a son, he was supposed to be an engineer. Indian parents have such a limited mindset for jobs. They believe only the STEM (science, technology, engineering, math) jobs can make you money and be successful. This gets me furious. As a woman not interested in any of the four choices, I feel as though my brown people look down upon me. I am a public relations major in the communications field, which is nowhere dominant with colored people. But this taboo on communications and how it is a “useless field” did not stop me. Constantly getting comments like “communications is not stable,” “you will never make any money with public relations,” or “you should switch your major before it is too late” did not hinder my decision. In fact, it encouraged me to prove them wrong! I chose Hofstra because it is one of the best schools for communications and will continue to go to this university for the next four years. “People might not always think the same way as me either because their identities have been more or less developed, or because their identities have been established in a completely dissimilar system” (Davis, par 9). The brown community does not see the value in communications, but I do. Communications is part of my identity. I am a social person who needs to see “the real” in every person and see the bigger picture of that person’s purpose. Working in public relations is not just a “hello” and “goodbye” conversation, which many people think it is, but investing value in a person, company, or venue. I knew that if I listened to these people, I would most likely be in a nursing program and dreading every second of it. These people have minimal capacity when it comes to career choices. I am proud of myself for keeping true to my identity and my own interests because my career in public relations will define who I am instead of being someone who I am not.

Staying true to my identity as a brown-skinned Indian woman was like fighting a battle with myself. Growing up I realized that I was different from other people in my elementary and middle school. The kids and teachers had lighter hair than me, different colored eyes, and fairer skin tones. To be honest. I felt out of place and wanted to fit in and the only way was to be white. This mindset of fitting in with the white kids destroyed my self-esteem entirely because the reality is that I am brown. I wanted to be from Europe and not Asia. In middle school we had culture day where we talked about our heritage and I was extremely embarrassed to tell everyone that I was Indian. I avoided using words like “curry” and talking in my native language so kids would not laugh at me and see me as the “weird girl.” I wanted straight, thin hair and not thick, curly hair. I remember one white girl coming up to me in elementary school and asking me, “Why is your hair so curly and black?” I just stood there and questioned my hair as well because I did not know why my hair was different. I wanted to be superior and not inferior. This hierarchy between races that I mentally created really affected the growth of my identity. When I was younger I viewed white people as a higher race. I belittled myself because of my own skin color.  I was one of the few colored people on my school bus in elementary school. This led to the white kids bullying me and calling me names like “Indian warthog” and such. This created the fear in my mind that the whites had power and control over me. If I saw a white person standing behind me on the lunch line, I would let them go in front of me. If I needed to pick a partner for projects, I would instantly pick the white girls first. In a sense, I idolized having white skin. I saw white skin as the key to having a successful, easy life.

Oh boy, was I wrong! As I got older I realized how limited was my mindset. There was no real reason to think of my brown skin and my culture with a negative connotation.“...you’re dumb enough to walk around continuing to identify yourself with that Party, you’re not only a chump, but you’re a traitor to your race” (Malcolm X, par 13).  I needed to accept that I was an Indian, brown-skinned girl and that will never change. I had to be proud of who my parents were and who they raised me to be. I had to get out of this narrow-minded environment where I superiorized white people.

Going into high school everything changed. I viewed everyone as equal and that no one was better than another because of their skin color. I realized that skin color is part of one’s heritage. Everybody is still human, as cliche as it sounds, it is true. If you live closer to the equator you will have darker skin. If you live farther from the equator you will have lighter skin. This is just geography and not something you can control. So to belittle myself off these factors that I could not control was insane of me. I started accepting myself for who I was and started being more confident in my heritage. If I could go back to the girl who asked me why my hair was so curly and black, I would tell her it is because I am Indian and this is what most South Indian girls have. I learned to embrace my Indianness and become aware of the rest of the world. As I grew older I realized that there is more than the white race and so many other cultures to be exposed to. "Whereas, our argument shows that the power and capacity of learning exists in the soul already; and that just as the eye was unable to turn from darkness to light without the whole body, so too the instrument of knowledge can only by the movement of the whole soul be turned from the world of becoming into that of being, and learn by degrees to endure the sight of being, and of the brightest and best of being, or, in other words, of the good” (Plato, par 46). Plato explains how I felt with my entire Indian crisis. I needed to find strength within myself to identify as an Indian and not be ashamed of it. I was stuck in this close-minded mentality that limited my capacity and power to find acceptance in myself. My viewpoint needed to be expanded from this “white supremacy” to seeing all races as one.

My viewpoint changing really helped develop my identity. I am nowhere the same person I was a few years ago. My homeostasis changed. My parents made a pathway by immigrating to America to be exposed to many opportunities which I will forever be thankful for. Being in communications field for my career adds onto my identity as a socializer and a barrier breaker for the Indian community. Accepting my skin color and being proud of my Indian heritage, while conquering my irrational fear of white supremacy, evolved myself to be true to who I am. As they say in Malayalam, നിങ്ങൾ നൽകുന്ന ജീവനെ സ്നേഹിക്കുക (niṅṅaḷ nalkunna jīvane snēhikkuka), love the life you are given.

Works Cited

Anzaldua, Gloria. "How to Tame a Wild Tongue."

www.everettsd.org/cms/lib07/WA01920133/Centricity/Domain/965/Anzaldua-Wild-Tongue.pdf.

Davis, Brittany.  "Mastering a Free-Thinking Perspective." 1 Jan. 2017, giantstepspress.blogspot.com/2016/03/mastering-free-thinking-perspective-by.html.

Plato. The Allegory of the Cave. VII, ser. 514a-521b, faculty.ycp.edu/~dweiss/phl224_human_nature/Plato%20republic%20allegory%20of%20the%20cave.pdf.olis,

Solis, Lola. "Is Feminism the New F Word? From Resistant to Responsive,"  giantstepspress.blogspot.com/2016/04/is-feminism-new-f-word-from-resistant.html.

X, Malcolm. "The Ballot or the Bullet." 1964. www.infosec.aueb.gr/Besides%20Security/TALKS/TALKS-10-X%20(The%20Ballot%20or%20the%20Bullet).

Mastering a Free-Thinking Perspective by Brittany Davis

 

It’s amazing to me how certain texts can generate profound reactions, inciting my thought and broadening my outlook. Whilst reading the works of Franz Kafka, Susan Faludi, Plato, and Walt Whitman, I became particularly introspective due to the relatability of the concepts and the artistry in which they were written. With Franz Kafka’s The Metamorphosis, I was forced to confront the magnitude in which I use my voice, and if my voice is considered a leading component of my character. Susan Faludi’s Backlash educated me on the struggles that adult women encounter, motivating me to denounce and reform the current structure in which women are marginalized. The symbolism behind Plato’s “Allegory of the Cave” demonstrated the obligation I have to be both free in my thinking and influential in my liberation. “Song of Myself,” written by Walt Whitman, contains an abundance of complexities, but, as he elegantly expresses, I am not alone in understanding the convoluted perplexities the world puts forth. Not only have these texts forced me to reflect on my identity, but they have also promoted me to further my advancement in both my attitudes and my judgments.

In Franz Kafka’s novella The Metamorphosis, the protagonist, Gregor, wishes to be rid of his mundane job and household responsibilities. To his surprise and his family’s, he wakes up one morning as a giant bug. Though his family tries to assist him in his new condition, they end up finding him to be a burden and want to be free of him. The novella ends with Gregor’s demise from depression and lack of care. Metamorphosis is grim not only because of Gregor’s unwelcomed transformation and consequentially his end, but also due to his immediate exclusion from society as a result of his noncompliance to societal norms.

 

Gregor is unable to speak, therefore suppressing his identity. He is unable to explain his actions and is therefore chastised for behaving in a manner that renounces norms because he is unable to justify such actions. Subjectively speaking, I have never been one to repudiate the status quo; however, I can relate to the protagonist’s conflict with speech. Unlike Gregor, I have the opportunity to communicate with others; however, my aversion to speech tends to put me in a position similar to Gregor’s. Great communicators can oftentimes undermine the voices of others. With this work, I was forced to ask myself if I am repressing my own identity by allowing those with more potent voices to assert their opinions over mine. Kafka also challenged me to observe how much of our identities come from the nature of speech. Those who may not have the capacity to sufficiently verbalize their thoughts may find an interest in writing; however, today we rarely communicate through writing and if we do, it is mostly through shorthand and Emojis. Although we can attempt to express ourselves through appearance, like Gregor, we are forever subjugated to the unwarranted disapprovals that are cast upon us. Through voice, one can learn, engage in compromise, and speak up for themselves and others. Kafka challenges me to use the voice I have to construct my own identity.

 

I don’t find that our nation’s gender gap is apparently distinct in my everyday life; however, the media, one of the greatest influences of my generation, is always prone to highlight gender disparities and even widen the gap for further self-interest. In Susan Faludi’s Backlash, she exposes the inequalities women face today, despite the many misconceptions people have made in believing that women have overcome all of their obstacles. Faludi concludes the debate by offering several instances in which females are deemed inferior to men, including government representation, occupational and domestic positions, our nation’s failure to accommodate for women’s reproductive rights, and the way we are portrayed in popular culture. Due to Faludi’s work, my stance on women’s rights expanded, because at my age, many of the divergences between genders are not necessarily conspicuous in my position. Through her outlook and research, I am able to better understand the challenges I might face if  adequate progress in the women’s rights movement is not made.

 

Faludi argues that female dilemmas derive from the media, calling it “an endless feedback loop that perpetuates and exaggerates its own false images of womanhood.” I find that it has been increasingly difficult to overlook the prevailing portrayals of women in the media. Through advertisements, women are repeatedly over-sexualized, and onscreen, in television and movies, they account only for 12% of the protagonists in 2014 programming. This depiction of women gives society the impression that women’s voices are less valuable compared to men’s, and their appearances are the foremost component of their identities. Women’s voices are also extremely underrepresented in the media. In 2014, women comprised merely 25% of writers, 23% of executive producers, and 20% of show creators (Alter). As expressed by Simone de Beauvoir, “Representation of the world, like the world itself, is the work of men; they describe it from their own point of view, which they confuse with absolute truth” (141). It is difficult to achieve genuine images of womanhood if men are the ones constructing female ideals. Faludi’s writing settled my position on women in media: the lack of female involvement in the media’s influential portrayals of women generates further insignificance for women’s central identities. In acknowledging this issue that women continually endure, I can aim to resolve the ongoing imbalances and false depictions, furthering the advancement of gender equality.  My identity as a woman should not be established by distorted ideals, and other women should not feel the need to alter themselves in order to match any corrupt standards. 

One of the concepts created by Plato is the Theory of Forms, which explains that in our reality there are true “forms” that we cannot necessarily observe with our five senses, but function as our reference point for everything, from beauty to goodness. Plato taught that humans are born with an understanding of the real forms, but as we grow, society alters those forms, obstructing us from being able to see the truth (“Plato’s Theory of Forms- What Does it Really Mean”). In the “Allegory of the Cave,” prisoners have been held inside a cave since birth, and while they are unable to see the world outside of the cave, they do observe the shadows that the world makes, accepting that to be reality. One prisoner frees himself from the false world presented to him, and by leaving the cave, the prisoner is attempting to unearth the true “forms.” The environment the prisoner discovers represents the World of Forms, and all elements in the world derive from the sun, which represents goodness. The World of Forms is believed to be where honest beauty exists. Plato’s work broadens my outlook on what is deemed beautiful. Society establishes standards of beauty and forces humanity to perceive them, through advertisements and media, although the ingrained standards are merely reflections of the true “forms.” Plato teaches that those who seek the genuine model of beauty will find that it derives from goodness.

 

As humans, our knowledge is limited to the civilization that we are born into, similar to the prisoners enduring the entirety of their lives in a cave. They perceive the world from solely their position inside the cave, observing inaccurate depictions and refusing to believe that they are being deceived. “The Allegory of the Cave” can also be resolved by understanding of what it means to be open-minded. As described by Alan Watts, “If we are open only to discoveries which will accord with what we know already, we may as well stay shut” (103). In order to interpret the world on a broader spectrum, I must learn to detach myself from what I was taught in order to justly perceive a world that is unlike the one I have come to know.

 

The best way to learn is through experience, according Walt Whitman. In his poem “Song of Myself,” he is not only commending himself, but also humanity in its entirety. According to Whitman, we are all connected as he illustrates through the nature of grass. Grass grows upon the deceased, connecting humanity to earth and individuals to all of humanity. Just as humans and nature are equal, Whitman considers body and soul to one as well. Whitman’s emphasis on the integrality that exists between humans and nature builds by notion that humanity should fixate on what we know, rather than what we hold to be true, as in religion. Whitman rejects prioritizing one God over others, because God is everywhere and we are all one collective world. I am inspired by his rejection of complete isolation, because regardless of the circumstance, one is never alone on his or her journey of existence. The difficulties in life are easier to conquer when an individual recognizes that they are not unaccompanied. Whitman declares, “And I say to any man or woman, Let your soul stand cool and composed before a million universes” (79). He is assuring readers that their identity is great and able to overcome any of the challenges that life presents.

 

It’s a beautiful concept that poetry, stories, and memoirs can forge one’s individuality. The publication and dissemination of history’s and today’s influential perspectives persuades the mindsets of several individuals, not only connecting people to the past, but also connecting people together here and now. People might not always think the same way as me either because their identities have been more or less developed, or because their identities have been established in a completely dissimilar system; however, this difference in identities is one of the grand advantages that humanity tends to overlook. Those who possess identities that have been forged by numerous experiences can influence and inspire those who have not or may never be able to undergo those experiences. The works that I read have guided my growth as an individual, and my interactions with others encourages me to continue to expand my own perspective.

Works Cited

Alter, Charlotte. "8 Sad Truths about Women in Media." Time. N.p., 5 June 2015. Web. 7 Dec. 2015. <http://time.com/3908138/women-in-media-sad-truths-report/>.

De Beauvoir, Simone. The Second Sex. N.p.: n.p., 1989. Print.

Faludi, Susan. "Blame It on Feminism." Introduction. Backlash: The Undeclared War against American Women. N.p.: n.p., n.d. N. pag. Print.

Kafka, Franz. The Metamorphosis. N.p.: n.p., 2009. Print.

Plato. "Book VII." The Republic. N.p.: n.p., n.d. N. pag. Print.

"Plato's Theory of Forms- What Does It Really Mean?" Philosophyzer. N.p., 8 Oct. 2012. Web. 7 Dec. 2015. <http://www.philosophyzer.com/platos-theory-of-forms/>.

Shmoop Editorial Team. "The Metamorphosis Summary." Shmoop. N.p., 11 Nov. 2008. Web. 7 Dec. 2015. <http://www.shmoop.com/metamorphosis/summary.html>.

TED- Ed. Plato’s Allegory of the Cave - Alex Gendler. Youtube. N.p., 17 Mar. 2015. Web. 7 Dec. 2015. <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RWOpQXTltA>.

Vlach, Michael. "Plato's Theory of Forms." Theological Studies. N.p., 2012. Web. 7 Dec. 2015. <http://www.theologicalstudies.org/resource-library/philosophy-dictionary/158-platos-theory-of-forms>.

Watts, Alan. The Wisdom of Insecurity: A Message for an Age of Anxiety. N.p.: n.p., n.d. Print.

Whitman, Walt. "Song of Myself." Leaves of Grass. N.p.: n.p., n.d. N. pag. Print.