"America Is Coping with Black Excellence" by Madison Spence-Moore

Approximately twelve percent of the people living in the United States of America are black, but as a child growing up in the tiny hamlet of Boyertown, Pennsylvania, I could have sworn my family was the only black family in the world. Then, of course, I got a little older; my world got a little bigger. I found out that there is much more to the color spectrum than just black and white. I realized just how different I truly was, and I was unwilling to accept it. It was difficult for such a shy girl to stand apart from everybody in such a way that I could not hide. It took my entire childhood to grow into my identity. My personal sense of self was constantly being challenged as I was surrounded by people who just did not look like me; this helped me to build endurance when faced with racism and injustice. My identity grew once I stopped holding certain elements of the color spectrum to such a high standard.

It was nearly impossible for me not to notice that my dreadlocks and tanned complexion were so different from the blond strands and pale skin that surrounded me. It had been this way from kindergarten through second grade. I was sick of it. I did not like all of the random kids touching my hair without asking, or the adults in the mall asking me how I washed it. All of this attention simply did not appeal to me, which led to a very little Madison marching up to Mom and proudly stating, “I want straight hair,” which led to my very confused mom replying, “What?” However, she could not refuse me for she had been straightening her hair all of my life. So the next day we bought a box of relaxer, chopped off my dreads, and straightened out my hair.

At the time the change was fantastic. I could brush and style my own hair, I felt like I was more like my peers than ever before. Little did I know what I was really doing to my true identity. As stated by Rosheen Awais, a brilliant Hijab-wearing Muslim,“We are victims of our own conscience. We work for this audience, we earn for this audience and often we do what we hate to do in order to reach the infinite expectations of this audience. However, we should not fall victim to these expectations and the expectorants, who hide us from our true self” (Awais).  I was never trying to be more like me; I was trying to be more like them. I was putting on a mask; I was performing to fit a mold that simply was not meant for me. It was not until the end of junior high school that I was able to let the curls grow and cut the broken ends.

Now I had entered high school with brown skin made darker by the sun and curly hair that I did not know how to style. This is one of the troubles with being a brown girl attending a dominantly white school. I had no one to turn to for help within my school and no one who could give me any advice on how to take care of it. No one within my school shared the same struggles. The loneliness stung. As Muslim writer Arbaaz Khan, who was born and raised on Long Island, wrote: “This oppression is something that I dealt with throughout my high school years, which aided in masking my true self” (Khan). What questions would they ask? What racist remarks would be made? My overwhelming fear of judgement and ridicule caused me to keep my curls out of sight. I usually kept it braided, twisted, in a bun or in a ponytail. I could deal with the fact that I could not hide my skin, but I kept trying my hardest to hide my hair. I was holding on to fitting in for a little bit longer.  

There comes a time when it all becomes too much. Pretending to be somebody you are not just to please everybody else is actually quite exhausting. Dr. King expresses it best in his “Letter from Birmingham Jail,” stating, “If I sought to answer all of the criticisms that cross my desk, my secretaries would be engaged in little else in the course of the day, and I would have no time for constructive work” (King). King’s words truly helped to deal with criticisms in a smarter way. For my whole life I had only been doing what was expected of me based on the critical eyes of the white people who surrounded me. I never took the time to focus on myself and understand who I really was or what I actually wanted. I was offering less time for my own self work. I had to understand that my true identity is more important than the identity expected of me by others. For my situation, the only way that I would be able to focus on my own identity was by first blocking out any and all hateful and ignorant comments. I had to stop seeing white people as white people, and just see them as people.

I thought all of the white people around me were the same, and I was the only different one. However, I realized that I was only categorizing white people the way they had been categorizing me. We are not all only black or white. We try to divide ourselves, attempting to fit into these different boxes labeled by shape, color and size. I needed to understand that each individual person is different and should not be characterized based on things like race and gender. I had to look into one of the most well known Martin Luther King quotes for help: “I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character” (King). In a way, I was creating barriers around myself as my peers had been creating barriers around me. I was believing that I was the only one who was different, but in reality we all are. At face value I was seen as different in my small town, but I came to appreciate that the ignorant people who stared at me in the hall or made racist remarks are just as different to each other as to me.

This realization led to my curls coming out of the cave and into the light. At first it was difficult wearing my hair in an Afro style surrounded by such flat strands. However, by the end of the day, it truly felt right. I was more confident than ever. I focused on the love and support of my close friends, and the hateful ignorant comments slowly started to fade away. It was only after I stepped into this part of my identity that I became able to inspire my mom to go natural and for my sisters to stay natural. It took a little while, but once I was secure with myself, I could, like Raymond Chappan, a Syrian Jew growing up in Brooklyn, focus on leading others (Chappan). My mom cut her relaxed hair a few months after me, so we actually embarked on our curly hair journeys together. My younger sisters did not really have much of an opinion on the state of their hair. I was happy to know that they had our curls to look at and be inspired by.

Watching my sisters grow up in that same neighborhood I did, I realized just how much black community culture I missed out on as a child, especially music and dancing and food. An interesting question arose in my writing class: “Do you think you’ll be able to experience the culture that you missed out on now? Will the experiences have the same impact as they would have when you were younger?” Yes and yes. I did miss out on a lot culturally growing up, but that does not mean that I cannot grow to become a part of the culture. “...My sense of freedom came from going to college. I left my 'bubble' cave and went on to learn things on my own. It took me some time to adjust to the light, but now that I see clearly, I am learning a lot about the world and can finally begin to morph into my own” (Chappan).

I repeated the words of Malcolm X in his speech, "The Ballot or the Bullet" to myself: “So, where do we go from here? First, we need some friends. We need some new allies” (X). At Hofstra University, I have been able to do just that. My number of black friends has grown tremendously from high school (zero) to now (eight), four of whom live in my building. I know it does not seem like much, but after growing up in an all white area, I will take what I can get and be grateful for what I have. My new black friends do not even realize how much they are helping me to grow my identity as a black woman. Ditto the many clubs and organizations centered around black culture, such as the NAACP and the Black Student Union.

I was shocked at how perfectly Plato’s “Allegory of the Cave” mimicked my situation so well. As a child I was ridiculed for how my hair looked, so I changed it. I was being chained inside of the cave, and when the shadows told me to change it because that is not how it was supposed to be, I did. I then became more aware of just how unhealthy my habits were for my hair and my health overall. I had to break free of the chains and walk out into the sun. It took my eyes a long time to adjust to the brightness and beauty of the sunshine, but soon enough, I was able to proudly walk into the sun. After I made it out, it was all Brother Malcolm. I was now able to accept myself, even though some of the white people around me could not. I had pulled my chair up to the table, but I was still unable to eat. Does this mean that I should sit back, relax and watch as Caucasians eat at the table while I stare down to an empty plate? (X) Of course not. Only when I ignore the hateful comments and embrace the color of my skin will I break down my barriers. Only when my hair grows so high that it touches the sky will I truly be satisfied. Only when my sisters can grow up to fully embody their curls as I have will I have done my job. We are all different. However, more importantly, we are all people. Only when we embrace our perfections and imperfections can we come together as one and really be happy.

Unfortunately, America was only designed for the success and prosperity of white people. It is even worse because they know just how powerful black people are, but they refuse to give up any of the credit. They cope with my excellence by telling me that how I look is wrong, and how my appearance should be changed to something less intimidating. Many folks are going to have a rude awakening once they learn that they are just as different from me as I am different from them. However, it will be a good thing. Their world will grow to be a little bit bigger, and the color spectrum will not matter as much. The chip will fall right off of their shoulder. My brown skin and curly hair are a huge part of my personal identity, and I recognize that I am different, but I also understand that we are all members of one cohesive unit, and that “every individual is an expression of the realm of nature, a unique action of the total universe” (Watts).

Works Cited

Awais, Rosheen. “A Hijab-Wearing Muslim Reflects on Identity in the Age of Trump.” TakingGiant Steps. February 2017. Web.

Chappan, Raymond. “Bursting One’s Bubble to Discover One’s Identity.” Taking Giant Steps, March 2016. Web.

Khan, Arbaaz. “Internal Jihad: My Identity as a Muslim American.” Taking Giant Steps, December 2016. Web.

King, Martin Luther. “Letter from Birmingham Jail.” August 1963.

Plato. “The Allegory of the Cave.”

X, Malcolm. “The Ballot or the Bullet.” 1964.

Where's the Comma: Learning How to Use the Writing Center by Jacob Manzoor

 

As I walked through the student center and turned left at Hofstra Hall, I was feeling anxious and nervous. I passed the foliage of the trees as I approached Mason Hall. I had a Writing Center appointment and was unsure of what to expect. I stepped over the threshold of Room 102 and automatically felt a warm and welcoming vibe. I attribute much of this to the relaxed nature of the tutors and the lack of walls separating the consulting spaces. I was

cordially greeted by David O. who stood tall in his gray sweater sporting a wide smile, which instantaneously made me rest at ease. Originally, I did not come here of my own free will; Professor Gordon said that I needed to go to the Writing Center at least once before handing in my paper. So I wrote my outline and the first few drafts with the help of my peers. After I believed my paper was complete, I decided that this was when I was going to have my work reviewed. Although I was not looking forward to having my assignment looked over by a stranger, my mindset changed completely by the end of my time there.

First I had to schedule an appointment. You could do so by walking into the WC, calling or just going to their website. I decided to introduce myself online; it was quick and easy to create an account and to select a time to meet. All I needed was my name and my 700 number to set up a password. Then I chose the date and whether I wanted to convene in person or online. I decided to do a face-to-face session.

I thought that my paper was adequate---maybe it had a few grammatical mistakes---but that’s about it. When I went there, I was expecting it to be a cold, top-down sort of meeting where I would be told what I did wrong, making me feel belittled. However, this was not the case at all. David and I proceeded to review my work. Instead of generating what seemed like a teacher-student relationship, it felt much more like a friendship. He asked me to read my paper aloud, and I was surprised to hear so many of my mistakes. Next, he explained to me what problems he had come across in my writing. Yes, I had an issue with putting commas in the right places.

Instead of revealing to me where it goes, then quickly moving on to the next pitfall, he explained why the punctuation went in that particular spot, and he helped me to identify my problem so as to not repeat it. Eventually, I started picking out the issues in my own paper. Learning that skill has helped me improve my writing dramatically. Although I came weary and skeptical of what I might

gain from the session, I left with a completely different outlook on the Writing Center.

I was no longer mandated to bring my work to be critiqued, yet I continued to do so because I felt that I would benefit from it. I brought all of my writing assignments to be reviewed before handing them in. With my very next paper, I had scheduled an appointment with Michael to look over an assignment which was due for my geography class. This time I was not skeptical at what the session could help me accomplish, but I was a little hesitant to work with someone other than David. However, I was blown away once again at how friendly and outgoing the tutors are, and Michael was no exception. He is a larger-than-life character whose presence fills the room, immediately making me feel comfortable. Even though he spoke more than David, he made references to modern culture, which made it easier to understand the lesson he was trying to teach. Similarly, he did not look down on me for making mistakes. He used analogies that helped me better understand the concept of coordinating conjunctions and how to use them properly in my paper. As the session progressed, I started to see my own omissions and I corrected them. By the end, I felt enlightened, and I learned a valuable skill that has helped me elevate my writing to a new level.

The third time I had decided to have my paper revised, I did not have the time to come in, so I scheduled an online appointment. It was quick and easy to set up. In lieu of having to go to Mason Hall, I could simply log on via my computer. The fact that the Writing Center is available in so many ways made it easy for me as a commuter to be able to have my paper reviewed on the weekend from home. I used this session to help me develop my concepts for my Political Science class and to condense them into just two pages. Personally, I prefer the face-to-face appointment where I can get to know the individual aiding me.

Nevertheless, I was once again taken aback at how effective was the meeting. David helped me to configure the flow of my essay with smooth transitions into each new idea. When I had asked him to look over my grammar, I was shocked at how my work was error free, after three simple corrections. He told me that I had put all of the commas in the right places and used great terminology in order to present my point across to the reader. I had felt so accomplished that not only did I take and fix my previous papers, but now I am able to prevent the issue from rising again. However, I am not the only person to have benefited from the Writing Center, Raymond Chappan said, “I found the Writing Center to be most helpful. They are non-prejudiced readers whose main purpose is to better my work. I have gone twice and both times I felt that my paper was better developed and that I have truly attained better writing skills.”

When Professor Gordon said that we had to interview a service provider, naturally I chose the Writing Center. I wanted to reveal what a resource it has been to me and my time here at Hofstra. I decided to interview David, since I spent the most time with him. Due to his laid-back and friendly nature, he agreed to be interviewed even with little knowledge as to my assignment and the questions that I would ask. I inquired about what he does there. Through my conversation with him, I learned that the service does not only do scholastic writing; they can help with many different things including resumes, papers, personal writing, even things as such as scripts and comic strips (Olsson). “Basically, if it is anything written, the tutors here can help you work on it in every stage of your writing, from just brainstorming or doing final edits”

(Olsson). There are many instructors in the Writing Center who have appointments every day of the week at many different times. David says that in the average week he helps around thirteen

different people. I found that incredible, so I asked him why he chooses to work at the Writing Center. His response was simple: “I always loved to read, especially about a wide variety of topics. I also wanted to help others, so the WC was a perfect fit.” As a tutor, David reads a variety of different topics and gains more knowledge on a myriad of subjects,while helping people improve their writing. I was also very curious as to what is the number one issue that arises in people's writing. According to him, a lot of people have trouble with the placement and use of commas. I could completely relate to this as I was one of the many who had the exact same issue. He says, “Commas are tricky, but once you know where they go it become a lot easier” (Olsson).

One thing that stood out to me in my interview with David was when he said, “People should know that we are only here to help, not to judge you and criticize you for making mistakes” (Olsson). Through my experiences, I found his statement to be true. No matter how stupid I thought the question was that I was asking, I knew that I could ask it because I wouldn't be ridiculed for it. I have used this facility every single time I have had a paper due, and until I feel that I am completely ready to skip that step, I will continue to do so.

The Writing Center has helped me to develop and to elevate my writing skills to a new level. Even though I was hesitant at first to go to for advice, I am glad to have gone. The tutors have helped me develop my writing in a nonjudgmental and cordial way. I felt at ease and comfortable talking about my writing and I became eager to know how to fix my issues. Like Deanna Weber, I went to the service skeptical and afraid of the unknown, but my experiences there have helped me to grow and have my confidence augmented (Weber). I am now able to take on a writing assignment knowing that I have the skills needed to succeed. I personally believe that if it hadn’t been for Professor Gordon requiring me to take my paper to the Writing Center, I would be a much more inexperienced writer.

Works Cited

David, Olsson. Personal Interview. 14 October 2015.

Raymond, Chappan. On the Writing Center. 26 October 2015.

Weber, Deanna. "Leaping out of the Cave and into the Light." Web log post. Taking Giant Steps . N.p., 11 Sept. 2015. Web.

"Writing Center." Writing Center . Hofstra University, n.d. Web. 26 Oct. 2015.

Bursting One's Bubble to Discover One's Identity by Raymond Chappan



It is not uncommon for a person to wander through life not knowing who they are. It drives people mad trying to find their identity. The most clichéd response one can say is, “I’m trying to find myself.” But what are we looking for? Identities seem to be all people have: All we stand for, all we’re known as, all we know about ourselves. Who is to define an identity or what it should be comprised of? Several people try and dictate how to think of ourselves or how to categorize our identity. Education and experience are tools to help a person develop their sense of selfhood, but the ultimate definition comes from within. Through several readings, the idea of one’s personal identity can be challenged, enlarged, conflicted, or resolved. However, as a young adult seeking to find himself, I have learned that in order to become who I am, I must embrace where I come from, love my heritage, and then work on being the best I can be.

 

We, as college students, are at the most impressionable stages of our lives. It is up to us to become ourselves. Just thinking of that concept alone frightens me. Every class we take, every word we say, or every action we perform help shape us to be individuals in a great, big society. Entering Kohlberg’s stage of moral skepticism at 4.5 is exactly what we need to break the social confines, think on our own, and develop personal opinions true to our own beliefs (Kohlberg). As we learn and develop, the path to figuring out our identity tends to get easier and more finite. Identity can mean lots of different things to a great many people because of how personal the topic can become. Each one of us must grow on our own and find what identifies them as an individual.

 

As a Modern Orthodox Jew from the Syrian community of Brooklyn, I have to find myself the hard way. Coming from a community with set boundaries and rules---such as who I can marry, where I may eat and pray, or who I am permitted to hang out with---really can hinder one’s growth. We call it the “Syrian bubble” because many community teenagers feel sheltered from the outside world, only being exposed to what our parents allow us to see. As per community custom, children usually have a choice between two local yeshivas to attend from upper nursery through high school, and then often pick a local college or simply work in the family business. This leaves little room for exploration in life, since we have generally the same friends since the age of five. With a constant curiosity of what “real” teenagers in public schools are doing and how it would be to have friends of a different race or religion, most of my friends and I feel like we are at a disadvantage in life, being excluded from almost everything the world has to offer. For this reason, I found the message in “The Allegory of the Cave” by Plato to sit so strongly with me. Throughout my upbringing I felt as if I was chained up, forced to only see projections on the wall. It is only when I am set free from my chains that I am allowed to go out and experience the world. Similarly to the allegory, not everyone is freed and not everyone is so comfortable with being freed. Only once we explore real life and “look at the sun” does the development of a sense of self begin (Plato). For me, my sense of freedom came from going to college. I left my “bubble” cave and went on to learn things on my own. It took me some time to adjust to the light, but now that I see clearly, I am learning a lot about the world and can finally begin to morph into my own. “The Allegory of the Cave” helped me reinforce the actions I’ve taken in my life to find my identity and to become the fully immersed person I aspire to become.

However, one cannot be the person he wants to become until he begin to own himself. Our perfections and flaws are what make us people, and each of us have qualities that make us unique. I think one of the hardest things for someone to do is to take pride in who he is, even if that’s what makes him different. To be honest, I was always a little embarrassed to tell people I meet that I am Jewish, speak perfect Hebrew, and observe all holidays and traditions. Gloria Anzaldua opened my eyes and showed me the value of loving myself. In “How to Tame a Wild Tongue,” she writes of the hardships that she, as a Chicana woman, faces in her life. She goes on to say that many Chicana immigrants often drop their native language and learn English to avoid awkward situations (39). I can relate to this because as I was learning Hebrew throughout my entire childhood education, I kept on thinking to myself that I would never need this language, since it is primarily spoken in only one country and is pretty obsolete. As I got older, I secretly started dropping my family’s orthodox values by eating non-kosher foods, using electricity on Sabbath, and skipping a few prayers. When I thought on Anzaldua’s essay, I exposed another portion of my identity that I had tried keeping secret. She furthers her claims by saying, “There are more subtle ways that we internalize identification, especially in the forms of images and emotions. For me food and certain smells are tied to my identity, to my homeland" (42). Syrian and Middle Eastern foods, aromas, and words are a staple in my household. These things along with speaking Hebrew and keeping my Jewish faith are so ingrained in my upbringing that they practically make up who I am. Without Anazaldua’s words I probably would not have been as enlarged as I am now. Embracing the past and keeping true to where you come from are essential components to develop one’s self.

After a person is secure with himself, he can then focus on being a leader. There were several times that I was a leader, whether it be leading my entire grade to victory in a high school color war or directing 40 of my peers through the deserts of Israel; being somebody to look up to is one of my strong suits. I thought that I was a confident, strong leader since I’ve taken courses in leadership development and gone to international leadership training programs. Having read “Letter from Birmingham Jail” by Martin Luther King Jr, I realized that not only do I have a long way to go, but once I think I am the best I can be, I still have more to go. Throughout reading the letter I was in awe. What struck me most was how calm was his composure. As a rhetoric communications major, I took particular interest in his persuasion techniques. He uses friendly terms such as “dear” when referring to the clergymen even though they were his enemies (par. 1). Even more so, he breaks down the problem so that each part is clear and understandable. There is also much to learn from his personal life. I cannot imagine being bold enough to take a bullet for what I believe in. He paid the ultimate price for his cause and that speaks volumes about who he was and how much each of a leader he was.

 

Martin Luther King Jr found his calling in life, but some of us aren’t as lucky and are constantly try to fit in somewhere. We are strangers in our skin, not knowing who we are or where we belong until the time is right. I have studied throughout my Jewish education what it means to be a global citizen. The questions of a “Jewish American” or an “American Jew” have been topics of discussion my entire life. After much self-reflection, I chose not to be either one of them. I don’t believe in having a national identity because I feel that people should be free to be whatever they want. It goes without question that I love my countries, both America and Israel, and remain loyal to them both. I just don’t think that a person must associate himself with a country simply because he was born thete. I am a firm believer of Gestalt's saying: “The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.” Instead of me feeling like a small piece of something, I’d rather think of myself as a whole to my own. Reading “How I Finally Developed Some National Pride” by Sezin Koehler really conflicted with my ideas of identity. In the article, Koehler, an American of Sri Lankan descent, claims to never have had a sense of a national identity until gay marriage was legalized in America. What she felt she says, was “a strange feeling…pride” (par. 9). She was proud of her country and the progress Americans are making towards acceptance. I do not condemn national pride; sadly I have just never felt it. That doesn’t mean that I will never identify myself with a country; it means that no country has caused me to internally call it mine, to make me feel proud to belong to it.

Identifying ourselves is probably one of the hardest things to do. Each person must go on his own path to find his truth. It is interesting to see how every individual starts off the same as innocent blank slates and then slowly but surely becomes his or her own. Like a snowflake, no two people are the same. With the help of Anzaldua, Koehler, and Plato, I have embarked on the journey of finding myself. I learned that through education, and acceptance of my history I can work on myself to be a leader and a global citizen. Hopefully I find myself and am ultimately happy with who I become.

Works Cited

Anzaldua, Gloria. "How to Tame a Wild Tongue: Wanderwords in Theory." Wanderwords : Language   Migration in American Literature (2014): n. pag. Web.

King, Martin Luther, Jr. "Letter from a Birmingham Jail [King, Jr.]." Letter from a Birmingham Jail [King, Jr.]. N.p., n.d. Web. 07 Dec. 2015.

"Kohlberg's Stages of Moral Development." Chart of Lawrence. N.p., n.d. Web. 18 Nov. 2015

Koehler, Sezin. "How I Finally Developed Some National Pride." The Huffington Post. TheHuffingtonPost.com, n.d. Web. 07 Dec. 2015.

Plato. "The Allegory of the Cave From the Republic of Plato." About.com Education. N.p., n.d. Web. 07 Dec. 2015.

 

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