Kirpal Gordon: Taking Giant Steps blog has
interviewed many inspiring authors but Counting on Yourself: A Woman's Way
to Wholistic Wealth is the first to celebrate female empowerment strategies
with an eye/ear to poetry and song as well as mathematics. How has your
background in music-making and lyric-writing contributed to this non-fiction
project? Sounds like a giant step!
Jacqueline Henrion: Indeed! I see creating this book
and sharing this knowledge with others as a giant step in my own personal
development. I grew up in New York City's Greenwich Village in the golden age
of songwriting. Having started piano and music theory at six at Greenwich House
Music School and journeyed through guitar and songs as political poetry, and
even attending the High School of Music and Art. I have the sensation that
music shaped my brain to be open to math and patterns. This patterning gave me
a leg up when I started to write my own songs as a performer. Ultimately, it
has led me to developing certain patterns of success. I hope that these
perspectives provide deep channels of self-knowledge for my three
grand-daughters –– and all women.
It's entirely appropriate that this
interview about my book premiers on the Giant Steps blog. When I listen to
Coltrane's classic of the same name, I feel the fast-changing harmonic forms,
built around thirds and fourths, the 3 against 4 rhythmic patterns, and the
melodic progression tightly knit to the same minor thirds and second intervals.
When I watch the rare videos of Coltrane "giving a lesson," I can see
that his approach went from a sensory sound experience to an expressive
physical motion of hands on a piano. It's almost like he couldn't articulate it
verbally. To write it down in sheet music betrays the reduction to both key and
tempo. He says, "It sounds (or feels) like this." He seems to say
that improvisation through his singular filter of mind is the art itself.
If I were to look down at Counting
on Yourself: A Woman's Way to Wholistic Wealth as a harmonic structure, I
can see the parallels with Coltrane's internal sensing. The key to a successful
and satisfying life is more like improvisation. Like individual creative art.
It's more important to listen and understand the "voice" inside of
you that filters and informs your choices. Then, as an adult, you learn the
rules and conventions of living (or playing music). Personal growth is a
continuous cycle of listening and creating. A feedback loop of information and
energy. This book describes a proven method of creating a more accurate and
intimate loop for yourself. A real way to build integrity and skillful
confidence.
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| Washington Square Park, Greenwich Village, NYC |
Kirpal Gordon: So how is the book organized?
Jacqueline Henrion: There are three parts. The first is
the harmonic landscape. It's about "Six Beliefs for Stress Relief."
You and I know, as students of Buddhism and wisdom arts, that suffering is a
universal experience. But I've distilled a set of beliefs to help people better
navigate by larger patterns that provide a more graceful ease. Less suffering.
The first belief is a starting point for every decision or choice in our life.
I've used it actively for the last thirteen years, but then realized that it
had been an intuitive guide much earlier in my life. It's based on Dr. Daniel
Siegel's definition of "Mind" in his study of advanced meditators and
their capabilities, in order to apply it to his therapeutic practice. He says,
"The mind is a process of regulating information and energy, that
is emergent, self-organizing, embodied, and intrapersonal."
By identifying it as a process, he
avoids the age-old intellectual vortex about whether the mind is a material
thing or a celestial abstract notion, as recent articles about "Universal
Consciousness" propose. If Minding is a process, we can focus on how we
can improve our process. Right off the bat, he understands that the process is
emergent. In other words, there is no definitive sheet music. How we think, and
what we do, emerges from the confluence of millions of variables both genetic
and environmental in this very moment of ever-changing conditions. The argument
of nature vs. nurture isn't valuable, because minding is a moving interplay of
that dialectic. An infinitely variable improvisation!
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| Jacqueline Henrion, Hudson River |
Kirpal Gordon: Just like the multi-genre American
musical tradition. And this leads into the next section?
Jacqueline Henrion: Yes, in the second part of the book
I introduce the concept of "Financial Selfie." I hijacked a
culturally recognizable activity (the selfie) and drew from my corporate
experience of a business form called a Balance Sheet. But I also considered the
principles I learned from meditation, yoga, and mindfulness studies. A new way
of thinking about Assets emerged. I simplified Assets into five classes. Each
class requires a different mindset. By taking an inventory of our Assets, we
establish a baseline of our stored energy. By taking this Selfie at the same
time each year, we have direct feedback information about our choices. This way
we learn which Assets allow us to be more fluid, and which add up to
"stuck" energy. In addition, I added an asset class called "Mind
Money," which I expand in the book's third section.
Kirpal Gordon: I appreciate the poetic consonance
when you talk about Mind Money Magic. Can you say more about that magic?
Jacqueline Henrion: In the third section, I explain and
demonstrate how the concept of Mind Money is Modern Magic. Like any sleight of
hand, Mind Money is an alchemy of thinking that transforms money we burn
into money we earn. One simple example is, let's say you've paid $100 to
attend a seminar on computer programming. In a conventional sense, you spend
the money and it's gone, and you hope that you learn something. But if you
record that same $100 in the "Knowledge" MM$ category, you have
turned it into a Mind Money Asset that stays with you the rest of your life.
Recording it encourages you to reflect on the value of that asset class in your
life. Knowledge expands your opportunities. Counting that as an asset reflects
a valuable growth trajectory. By writing these down, and recording the value,
you have increased your skill of "Minding."
As you can see then, if we spend actual money
for acquisition, we record that as a MM$ asset. For example, what you spent for
Naropa tuition would become part of your baseline inventory under Knowledge
MM$. If we just record a GEMPICKS item in the Mind Money journal without expenditure,
it still “earns” the minimum
default value of MM$10. So even a simple recording of gratitude for a parent’s teaching, or a
partner’s making breakfast
earns MM$10. A mere one gratitude per day results in MM$3,650 per year. In MM$
you might already be a millionaire.
The power of using a
journal is that it manifests and places a value on the immaterial. Businesses
use journal entries and a Balance Sheet item called "Good Will," a
recognized financial asset for non-money value. Like the magician's sleight of
hand. In a way, you create something from thin air. It's a pure example of the
power of consciousness to affect reality. By recording Mind Money, you are
recognizing it's value in your life.
Recording the asset in
a Mind Money Journal also has a two-way effect. We both observe reality and
create it. You will
always have a record that you can refer to. I use a spread sheet, but it can be
done with a manual list. If you can make a shopping list, you can make a Mind
Money Journal. It's even better than the way writers learn to journal their
thoughts and observations to retrieve ideas for later projects. By recording
Mind Money (MM$) in any of the eight categories, you will capture useful
information about how you mature and learn about yourself. In this way, you
fulfill the most ancient advice in wisdom, "Know Thyself."
Kirpal Gordon: What are the eight categories?
Jacqueline
Henrion: The Mind Money
categories can be remembered by using the acronym GEMPICKS: Gratitude,
Experiences, Mentors, Physical, Insights, Community, Knowledge, and Skills. Recording the time you spend with
Mentors, for example, can have enormous benefits in your life. Some obvious
advantages are learning new skills as well as being introduced to other people
in the mentor's network.
A recent famous illustration is US
Open Tennis Champion, Coco Gauff's relationship with one of her Mentors, Tennis
legend Billie Jean King. Obviously, King provided some valuable tips about how
to navigate the sport. But King also did something truly life changing. She
advocated and succeeded in increasing the women's prize money to match that of
the men's. This meant that Gauff's winnings were $3 million rather than the
historical $1.5 million. If Gauff recorded that increase in Mentor Mind Money
(MM$) she would retain it as an asset for life, no matter how much of the
actual money she spent. She would be able to look back into the details of her
Mind Money to see her increasing trajectory. The journal entry connects the
Mentor effort and energy she experienced with King. Mind Money accumulates
throughout your life. In other words, you create a permanent record of a path
of increasing personal growth. Unlike crypto currency, it will never disappear
or drop in value. This is what I mean by Wholistic Wealth. Using the strategies
described in this book, you have a much greater awareness of yourself in both
money and non-money ways. After using these tools for over a decade, I have
experienced a level of joy and peaceful ease in my life, that I believe is a
direct result of me being more aware of the information from my Financial
Selfie and Mind Money.
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| Jacqueline's granddaughters: (left to right) Gabrielle, Amanda, and Brook |
Kirpal Gordon: This three-part program sounds like
a synthesis of all you have learned in music, poetry, business and the art of
living. But you also offer men a dating strategy which speaks to the classic male
question, “What do women want?”
Jacqueline Henrion: I see that question as a trap men
have created for themselves. It assumes that all women want the same thing, and
if men just knew that "thing," they would be successful at dating.
But that's a myth that's way past its expiration date. The real secret to
getting to know someone is being able to understand and talk about the value of
personal Experiences and Insights. We are all uniquely formed, so curiosity and
listening are invaluable skills in this exchange. Knowing GEMPICKS about yourself
means you recognize them as assets. It demonstrates that the man (or
prospective woman partner) knows how to "feather the nest," and has
achieved a certain level of emotional intelligence. If a man can talk about his
own assets in Gratitude, Experiences, Mentors, Physical, Insights, Community,
Knowledge, and Skills, he will appear wealthy even if his Net Worth is not
significant. If you know your GEMPICKS value, that inevitably leads to
Wholistic Wealth. That's why I think of Mind Money as the new Language of Love.
If a woman is also tuned to the Six
Stress Relief Beliefs and developing her Mind Money assets, then there's tons
to talk about. When my first husband asked for a divorce, I made a list of
qualities I would want in a life partner because I knew that life would be
richer and easier (as in energy efficient) with a partner. I went on a number
of dates without success. But the very first lunch I went to with my current
husband, I was thoroughly impressed by his ability to talk about his emotional
insights, experiences, physical activities, and his all-important community
feelings. In a matter of hours, I was smitten, even though, at that point, I
thought he was a starving artist.
Moreover, it makes sense that a man
would want a partner who uses these strategies, and as a result, is
self-sufficient and less likely to be dependent and in need of frequent
validation and reassurance. Even after a relationship is formed, if each person
continues to track their growth using GEMPICKS, they can share observations and
enrich themselves further through growth. That's been the secret sauce for
success in our almost thirty years together. "You're not the same person I
married" is not a criticism, it's a compliment! GEMPICKS allows us to know
and grow together.
Kirpal Gordon: Why does your title say A
Woman's Way?
Jacqueline Henrion: Clearly the information would
benefit men as well. But there are two reasons for the title. When you endeavor
to write a "self help" book, you look for persuasive illustrations of
your theme. One way to persuade is to cite authoritative sources or quotes. I
included a smattering of those which were more eloquent. But this book is
primarily based my own experience of failure and success. In this way, it's
more like a memoir. My first Selfie was literally a Balance Sheet, after my
first husband asked for a divorce. In a panic emotionally about credit card
debt, I only regained a sense of self-confidence and self-reliance after
calculating my Selfie. The report showed that I was not so bad off, but a
certain amount of "energy" was stuck in certain assets. I vowed never
to be ignorant or stuck again about assets. Now I do a Selfie for us at least
once every year, or to evaluate the before and after of major shifts. In
certain years, this information and fluid mindset has resulted in hundreds of
thousands of increases in Net Worth in one year. Therefore, it seemed
appropriate that the title would be A Woman's Way, because it is based
on a woman's unique experience. Each woman will have her own unique experience
using these strategies, fundamentally different than a man's.
The second reason lies in my purpose
for the book. My aspirations are pretty humble; I don't expect to make a ton of
money from the book. I don't have plans to create a training platform, speaking
tour, or business from it. I merely want an opportunity to shift the roughly 2
billion women on the earth between the ages of fifteen and forty-nine towards
increasing self-reliance and empowerment. In a forthcoming website, it would be
more interesting to have a forum for women to post their questions, observations,
and successes. I know that the beliefs, ideas, and tools I describe form a seed
to grow the spirit of women to emerge in all walks of life.
If I were watching our planet from an
interplanetary outpost, I would say that the trajectory of the human race is
currently heading towards decline and dissolution, even if all environmental
conditions are merely part of a a planetary cycle. What sells is chaos and
fear, not emotional maturity to deal with an increasing velocity of inevitable
change and suffering. We could do better by embracing more fluid
self-definition and evolution. Women's movements, such as #MeToo are shifting
attitudes in many cultures. I hope that the strategies in this book contribute
to personal shift that may appear less political, but has the potential to
inform every moment of women's lives. In other words, from the personal to the
tectonic. The poet Emily Dickinson whispers a refrain in my ear "I'm
nobody...but I dwell in possibility."
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| Jacqueline Henrion |
